Tuesday 24 September 2019

For Joshua

Hi folks,

Apologies for the not strictly wargaming content.

Regular blog readers may have noticed my comment a few weeks ago that I was going to be a dad again. My second child and my wife's first. Our baby was due in early October (due to be induced at 37 weeks).

Unfortunately, on Monday 16th September, my wife felt unwell. This resulted in an emergency scan being undertaken and as a result it was found that our baby, at 34 weeks and 2 days, had no heartbeat.

No words can even begin to describe the level of grief and pain that our baby's passing has lead to. Made all the more difficult and cruel by the requirement that my wife deliver our baby. She did this on the early hours of Friday 20th of September. We are both, obviously, extremely upset. I suspect we will remain so for some time.



Following his delivery we had the opportunity to meet our little boy, Joshua, to tell him he was loved and that we were sorry. And for him to have an all too brief cuddle with his mum and dad before he went on to the next stage of his journey in this world.

We endured, and continue to endure, the unendurable - mainly due to the love and support of our family and friends. But also through the dedication, care and empathy of the NHS staff who we dealt with.

We spent the last week staying in a suite at the local hospital, where I was also fed and looked after while staying with Amy. We were provided with a separate entrance and a room with a double bed to stay while we waited for the medication to induce Amy to take effect. When our son was born, he was treated with utter care and attention by the staff. We were given, free of charge, clothes which would fit him as well as a memory box of items to help us record our son's time with us, clay and ink materials with which to take prints of his hands and feet, cot cards and name tags and a host of other useful bits - all for us to keep and treasure, and to help use remember our little boy.

I would like to repay this kindness in some way, and to do something for Joshua. I would like to undertake a project with some contributions from the community with a view of selling or raffling off the completed project. 

My current idea is a 10mm project - fantasy undead and orcs versus the 'free people'. The free people would be eclectic - a mix of whatever anyone wanted to contribute or paint that fitted the 'fantasy' setting. Arthurian knights, Elves, Dwarfs, Humans of any variety, Lizardmen, etc, etc - anything and everything from medieval or late medieval model ranges or fantasy ranges.

The baddies would be in black with a little red.

The set would then do some of the wargames shows in the UK, as a display or demo game.

The whole project would then be raffled (or auctioned) off - The proceeds would then go towards an appropriate charity in honour of my little boy whom I will never get a chance to share my hobby with.

This may take some time to organise, paint, set up, etc. Possibly it would take more than 12 months.

However, I would love if you, dear reader, could contribute in some way. Whether it be donating some unpainted 10mm figures, providing some painted 10mm figures or bits of terrain, etc, I would be grateful. It would mean a lot to me if someone out there would take some time to paint something for my little boy, that I could then use to raise some money for a cause which helped me and my wife when we needed it most. Either for a donation to the maternity ward or to the charity who provided the memory box we received.

I've not settled on unit sizes or base sizes yet - It would be more about look (massed ranks, ala Warhammer or Warmaster), with me either coming up with some simple rules or adapting something off the shelf. My initial idea is also that I would base the models, to keep both armies using the same basing technique. (edit: More information on these details can be found here).

If you think you would be able and willing to help, please let me know. This is very early in my thought process but the outline is there and I hope others can see my purpose and are willing to help.

Thanks,

James - dad of Joshua.






41 comments:

  1. Dear James, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your post is a wonderful & very moving tribute.

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  2. James, my sincere condolences. From your post, I feel your sorrow. Take care.

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  3. I am so, so sorry to hear you have to carry this.

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    1. Thank you, unfortunately at present it appears we are a rather sad statistic.

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  4. Hello James,
    sad to hear/ read this. I can imagine how you‘re feeling as we lost our first and only child almost the same way.
    I wish you and your wife all the best and all the strength and love in this world in these difficult times.

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    1. Thank you sir, we have found in the last few days that it is disturbingly common. Thanks for your kind words.

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  5. Heart breaking... very best wishes to you and your wife...

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  6. Count me in James, I will help in any way I can.

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  7. Dear James, heartbreaking to read of your loss this morning and certainly put my problems into perspective. I can only wish you both well.

    James, may I add that my eldest daughter has also experienced the same pain and his name was also Joshua. If you ever want or need to talk about it when the time is right for you I know that Hannah would be happy to do so.

    You know it would be an honour for me to paint something for your charity.

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    1. Thank you Lee, for your kind words and offer. I'll be in touch once I have details sorted for what I am doing.

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  8. So sorry for your tragic loss. I would be happy to help in any way I can. Painted figures and terrain. Take care

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    1. Thank you sir, I will post more details once things are organised.

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  9. James, I'm so sorry to read about this. My condolences to you and your wife.

    I know I haven't been involved in the Old Guard for a bit, now, but I'd like to offer my services in painting up some miniatures.

    Roy

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    1. Thanks Roy, much appreciated. All help welcome.

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  10. James, I can't begin to imagine how you and your wife must be feeling. I am terribly sorry for your loss and hope that I can in some way contribute to your project.

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  11. James, this is heartbreaking news for anyone and my deepest and most sincere condolences go out to both you and your wife. Your idea for a tribute is wonderful and I would like to help in some small way.

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    1. Thank you Lee, for your words and offer of help. I'll post up details soon when I have settled on unit sizes and such.

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  12. I have a two year old daughter who is my world I can't comprehend what you are going through. So very sorry for your loss. Watch you wife and take care of her (normal deliveries are tough this has to be more so). You have prayers and good wishes, and I cry with you for your loss.

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    1. Also I have some 10mm Halberiers I would be happy to paint and dontate.

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    2. Thank you Adam - Amy having to go through the delivery for no good result was heartbreaking. Halberiers would be most welcome. I'll post something in the next few weeks with contact details and such.

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  13. Please accept my deepest condolences at this most difficult of times for you both.
    Words don't seem to come easily right now, so take care of yourself & your wife.
    Very best wishes to you both,
    Jeremy

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    1. Thank you Jeremy. I know I would have no idea what to say to someone in my situation - I appreciate you taking the time to comment.

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  14. Jamie mate, I shed a tear reading this, I hope dearly that eachother's love and support will help you through all this.

    Much love to you and your wife through this horrible time.

    I would love to help with your project idea. I believe you still have my email and if not, then I can resend an email to you. Let me know when you have a better grasp on how you'd like us to pitch in.

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    1. Thank you Dai. My plan is currently to post up a blog with more detail and a contact email address for the project.

      We're currently being a little distracted by a house move - planned to have been before the wee man's arrival. However it will be his cremation the week he should have been induced, so things are tough.

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  15. So sorry for your loss, sir. Many prayers and many thoughts coming across the Pond to you and yours.

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  16. Absolute shocking news. Stay strong .. here any time you need .. I will jump right in on the project

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  17. Count me in, and if theres anything I can do, let me know.

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  18. Desperate news James I can only imagine the pain you are both enduring.

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    1. Possibly the worst few weeks of our lives Matt, and something that doesn't go away from all accounts. One of the saddest things has been to realise how many other people around us have had similar things happen.

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  19. I am here for you if you wish to chat, even if it is just hobby banter for a distraction.

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    1. Thanks Paul. Once I get moved I will be aiming to get painting and online more than I have the last few months.

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  20. I saw the youtube video about this, really sorry to hear.

    I'd like to help out in some way so will be emailing you soon.

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  21. Hi James. I'd like to help. Please drop me a line at editor@wssmagazine.com - I'll see what I can do.

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