Not many updates from me recently I'm afraid. Since the AHPC challenge ended in March I'd not picked up a paint brush until this week. Not sure why, I just didn't feel like it and was procrastinating because I had two more fantasy units lined up that I had to pick colours for.
I did a few things instead - prepping for a Rogue Trader RPG I'm running during lockdown (where I decided to use the Savage World rules instead of the official ones). Building (then modifying) some Jagdpathers. Prepping my 2nd Derbyshire Yeomanry Armoured Car Squadron. Cleaning up models ready for undercoating. Sorting through my unbuilt stuff checking what I was short of. Planning future lists. Etc, etc.
The long and short of this was that I wasn't painting but was filling up my painting shelf with more and more stuff. I was struggling to find space on the shelves next to my painting station and getting more disheartened about how much I had to do every time I looked at it.
Combined with homeworking for a prolonged period (where I struggle with getting anything done in the morning, leading me to feel like I am just burning half my day, every day) , I was/am starting to get a bit frayed mentally. Starting to be very negative about everything and getting a little down on myself, work and the hobby. I guess it's depression - but the prevailing feeling has been negativity rather than the overwhelming sadness I have had previously.
Social media played a part in this too - trying to help people with questions about my 'specialist subject', only to have to fight uphill battles about stuff I know and have checked against people quoting populist history nonsense (who can never provide a reference and argue even in the face of photographic evidence...).
So yes, in trying to be productive with my non painting, I ended up digging myself a hole which was further sapping my motivation. Too much stuff on the painting shelf, no idea where to start, feeling weighed down by the lead mountain looming over me, feeling like there was no point to the hobby, that I have been wasting my time, etc.
Today I've taken some steps to try and get myself out of the rut I'm in. I finished one of the fantasy units (more on these soon). I tidied my painting shelf, cutting the visible models down to one troop of 15mm Armoured Cars, a few Cruel Seas ships, one 10mm unit and some 15mm sci-fi models which I just paint when I have colours left on my paint palette. A much more manageable workload.
The other stuff is now on a box on my desk - handy, but out of sight. I'll bring out another unit when I have finished something.
I've also completed a painting chart for my 2nd Derbyshire Yeomanry squadron:
And to see what this hole lot looks like (and why it was like a storm cloud over my painting desk):
This lot is a mix of Battlefront with a few PSC kits thrown in. I've a platoon of infantry for my Assault Platoon, and one small platoon for dismounted Carrier Patrol troops.
I've decided - given the types of games we play and the historical info I have, to make a 3 stand infantry troop for each of the carrier troops. One medium base (4 men) with a Bren and a PIAT, one medium base (4 men) with a Bren and a 2" mortar, and a small base (3 men) with a Bren command team. This should represent the firepower these guys had. The PIAT and 2" Mortar will be shooting options for the teams. I've lots of spare infantry figures, so this is no hassle - just more painting!
So - a cautionary tale really. I need to remember:
- Don't let yourself get disheartened by what you have to do hobby wise. You can only complete any collection one small bite at a time (unless your Dave D or Martin!).
- Know your limits, if you feel your getting bogged down or disheartened clear the decks and pick one thing to do at a time.
- Using non painting time constructively is useful, but remember the points above.
As for work - I'm trying something new out this week which I am hoping will help me feel like I'm not just burning time for the sake of putting in my hours! I have a few other options lined up if this doesn't work.
Hope everyone is staying safe and active!
Always have a list and loads prepped. Then you can paint whatever you want whenever. Stay safe and vent regularly
ReplyDeleteI generally have a few things on the go, but too much crowding the space around me seems to be a bad thing. All excess prepped stuff now confined to a box!
DeleteSometimes you just have to put all of the projects aside and just do what you really fancy doing. It works for me. I know I'll get the put aside stuff out again at a later date when my interest has returned and it will feel like fresh new thing.
ReplyDeleteAs for social media...it is an evil. You can make one helpful comment and then an argument sucks you in...and then the rest of the day/week you are just on edge waiting for replies to your last point. It is dreadful. I'm always reminded of the quote which goes something like, 'never argue with an idiot and as people will find it hard to tell who the idiot is.' That's social media. Don't get suckered in. The Miniatures Page is a bit like that too. I like to stick to Blogs like this. Nice people who are genuinely interested.
Liking the look of your Derbyshire Yeomanry by the way. The unit planner looks a great way to mark progress.
Best wishes,
Jason
Thanks for taking the time to comment Jason. Your totally right about the social media thing - summed it up really well actually. I've had some really good interactions recently that have made me feel like I've made a really positive contribution to others understanding and hobby - but too many people don't read, don't listen or just deliberately troll.
DeleteThe painting progress tracker was an idea borrowed from others, as each part progresses the colour shifts to green. The key for me is just keeping one troop/platoon out and hiding the rest!
Hang in their James as far as I know everybody is finding it hard at the moment for all sorts of reasons. Find whatever rules work for you, personally I just allow myself to go with the flow and paint what I fancy, and yes sometimes I get half way through a unit and put them away again for a month or more ......but it is my hobby so nobody is judging me. I agree totally stick to blogs which avoid the limitless social media noise and excessive ‘happiness’ I have found the vast majority of bloggers just want to share and be kind which is a really nice place.😀
ReplyDeleteCheers Matt. The last few months have been particularly crap - I managed to get through the painting challenge alright, but since then I've just not been in the mood. And I normally paint every night. The wife is always telling me off for being so productivity focused on what should be a hobby. It's just my need to progress what I'm doing, I suppose.
DeleteWe all get in these types if rut every now and then James. I'm sure with your painting plan for the Yeomanry it will be easy to break out if it. All the best!
ReplyDeleteI'm determined to get it done this year Ray - one small bit at a time!
DeletePlease don't beat yourself up over this James, whilst having a hobby related focus is very good in these crazy times it can bring it's own additional pressure to bear. Sometimes you have to take a short break, step back and just look at what you HAVE achieved in that wonderful collection of yours. Same thing here, spent 21 days of intensive painting, made it to the finish line and then everything just ebbed away so had to step back.
ReplyDeleteThe lockdown is really starting to bite us all now, I still can't quite believe what we are living through, and for those of us to whom mental illness is no stranger it can be harder still, but I really think that are past the worst of it now, at least that's what I keep telling myself James.
Your painting mojo will return and you will soon be bashing out those wonderful vehicles and figures again :)
You seem to be describing a general malaise that many feel at the moment, myself included. I've managed to keep myself very busy in recent weeks but some mornings its a struggle to get going. And like you I have struggled with IT issues. I'm working from home part of the week and despite considering myself fairly tech savvy I have been pulling my hair out (whats left of it!). At times like that its worth taking a deep breath and remembering your not alone.
ReplyDeleteSocial media is a mixed bag, it keeps our community in touch and sharing, but it also opens us up to 'less inspiring' interactions. My advice is simple, Don't feed the Trolls. I rarely comment on social media like Facebook or Twitter, because it immediately opens the floodgates to everyone's opinions. I have to deal with the good, the bad and the ugly in my day job, so the last things I want to do is let it seep into my private life as well.
Keep your chin up and don't beat yourself up if you don't get hobby projects done.