Hi folks,
Not many updates from me recently I'm afraid. Since the AHPC challenge ended in March I'd not picked up a paint brush until this week. Not sure why, I just didn't feel like it and was procrastinating because I had two more fantasy units lined up that I had to pick colours for.
I did a few things instead - prepping for a Rogue Trader RPG I'm running during lockdown (where I decided to use the Savage World rules instead of the official ones). Building (then modifying) some Jagdpathers. Prepping my 2nd Derbyshire Yeomanry Armoured Car Squadron. Cleaning up models ready for undercoating. Sorting through my unbuilt stuff checking what I was short of. Planning future lists. Etc, etc.
The long and short of this was that I wasn't painting but was filling up my painting shelf with more and more stuff. I was struggling to find space on the shelves next to my painting station and getting more disheartened about how much I had to do every time I looked at it.
Combined with homeworking for a prolonged period (where I struggle with getting anything done in the morning, leading me to feel like I am just burning half my day, every day) , I was/am starting to get a bit frayed mentally. Starting to be very negative about everything and getting a little down on myself, work and the hobby. I guess it's depression - but the prevailing feeling has been negativity rather than the overwhelming sadness I have had previously.
Social media played a part in this too - trying to help people with questions about my 'specialist subject', only to have to fight uphill battles about stuff I know and have checked against people quoting populist history nonsense (who can never provide a reference and argue even in the face of photographic evidence...).
So yes, in trying to be productive with my non painting, I ended up digging myself a hole which was further sapping my motivation. Too much stuff on the painting shelf, no idea where to start, feeling weighed down by the lead mountain looming over me, feeling like there was no point to the hobby, that I have been wasting my time, etc.
Today I've taken some steps to try and get myself out of the rut I'm in. I finished one of the fantasy units (more on these soon). I tidied my painting shelf, cutting the visible models down to one troop of 15mm Armoured Cars, a few Cruel Seas ships, one 10mm unit and some 15mm sci-fi models which I just paint when I have colours left on my paint palette. A much more manageable workload.
The other stuff is now on a box on my desk - handy, but out of sight. I'll bring out another unit when I have finished something.
I've also completed a painting chart for my 2nd Derbyshire Yeomanry squadron:
And to see what this hole lot looks like (and why it was like a storm cloud over my painting desk):
This lot is a mix of Battlefront with a few PSC kits thrown in. I've a platoon of infantry for my Assault Platoon, and one small platoon for dismounted Carrier Patrol troops.
I've decided - given the types of games we play and the historical info I have, to make a 3 stand infantry troop for each of the carrier troops. One medium base (4 men) with a Bren and a PIAT, one medium base (4 men) with a Bren and a 2" mortar, and a small base (3 men) with a Bren command team. This should represent the firepower these guys had. The PIAT and 2" Mortar will be shooting options for the teams. I've lots of spare infantry figures, so this is no hassle - just more painting!
So - a cautionary tale really. I need to remember:
- Don't let yourself get disheartened by what you have to do hobby wise. You can only complete any collection one small bite at a time (unless your Dave D or Martin!).
- Know your limits, if you feel your getting bogged down or disheartened clear the decks and pick one thing to do at a time.
- Using non painting time constructively is useful, but remember the points above.
As for work - I'm trying something new out this week which I am hoping will help me feel like I'm not just burning time for the sake of putting in my hours! I have a few other options lined up if this doesn't work.
Hope everyone is staying safe and active!